Single again...

Wow, and there it is. Single again.

Read the last post... how head over heels I was for CB. How stupid I was and didn't even know it. I married that cowboy after knowing him for 6 months... WHY?!?!

What a change of events from what I had planned. Don't get me wrong I have had one year and 3 months to get use to the fact that my life was not going to turn out how I thought. That I would get the guts to leave my husband. That my son would grow up in a broken home... but I remind myself daily, better a broken home than a broken family.

As a women who would like to think she is control of most everything in her life, I can't help but wonder from time to time "what did I do wrong?" But then I give myself a swift kick in the but and realize, I did nothing wrong. I did not cause this to happen and I did all I could to work on the marriage... its take the full commitment of two not just one.

So here I am. I am now the West Texas cliche. A 20 something female with a small child and already divorce. Typical in these parts. So... why is it so typical in this area of the world. Why is it that women my age and younger fall in love so quickly, get married, and then wind up pregnant? Why?

I've been through it and I don't even understand why. I understand why I fell in love. I have a very good understand of why I got pregnant. But I haven't the slightest clue why a grown adult male cannot do what is right by his family? Why an adult grown male cannot hold down a job? And why an adult grown male let pride ruin his marriage?

Do you think that maybe I answered the question without knowing it? That it all comes down to pride? That Roger Miller figured it out in 1966 with his song "Husbands and Wives"? "Pride is the chief cause and the decline in the number of husbands and wives."

Sigh... maybe so, maybe not. I don't know. I do know my marriage ended on October 12, 2010. I was married for 1196 days, also known as 2 years, 3 months and 9 days. That does not a lifetime make... Sigh.

I always thought I would be the woman who would marry for life. But that didn't happen. I guess I can say "funny how life doesn't go as planned" but is it really, funny that is. I don't think so, I think it is sad, very sad.

Oh well, life it is what is and I'm single again.

Dear Readers,

I didn't post much during my relationship and marriage with Cody... and I don't plan on posting again... I don't know this is just so sad maybe I shouldn't write about it... I am taking my blog offline for a while. Maybe I will revisit it again someday.