To compromise...
When I think of compromise I think of losing something. I have to give up something in order to make someone else happy. I was curious what others thought compromise would be? According to Wikipedia, compromise is the concept of finding an agreement through communication, through a mutual acceptance of terms, often involving variations from an original goal or desire. But that in the UK and Ireland the word compromise is always associated as a positive word, in which both parties come out as winers, but that in the US it has a negative connotation saying both parties lose something.
Maybe that is why I always associate compromise with losing something. It is just in my culture. My culture affects my life everyday in everything that I do and I say. The truth is I live in an extremely selfish culture. A culture that is driven by wealth and pride. A culture in which it is your way or the highway, but yet in relationships the US culture expects you to put your relationship before yourself thus putting the needs of your partner before your own. Strange how this creates inner conflict within the culture.
In every love story ever written, the characters have to give in and put themselves last in order to win their true love. Now it might take an hour and half to get there but that is what they eventually do. Too bad I don't live in a love story. I would like to think I put my relationship before myself, but the truth is I do not. I am so scared of getting hurt again that I refuse to put my relationship first. I have to be tuff and not let things get to me. I can never let my guard down or break down when something hurts me. But as hard as I try, it doesn't get easier but it gets harder. Because I am trying so hard to be tuff that when something small happens I get upset and mad and it is simply because I have been holding on to feelings for so long that I eventually explode. That would be the one trait I hate about myself and as much as I try to control it, I never can.
To compromise?!?
I am Living Single in Texas.
