Only in Texas...

Friday night I had a very interesting and unique date. But before I go into details about the date let me first tell you about the man I am currently dating.

A little over a month ago I started dating a charming, handsome, charismatic man...whom I will refer to as -W. He was the first man I let take me out on a second date since breaking up with my ex... more than six months ago. Things have been going great. I enjoy his company... He takes good care of me... He doesn't pressure me into anything... And overall I am extremely happy.

So, Friday night -W invited me to a Sporting Clay BBQ, also known as a skeet shoot. Skeet shooting invovles a "clay pigeon" thrown into the air to be shot down with a shotgun. It is a form of practice for bird hunting and every year Stanton, Texas has a tournament of sorts.

Well on this particular Friday night I met -W's family... his dad, step mom, and uncle. For those in the dating world, this is usually a big step, and of course I wanted to look my best. Little did I know the evening would turn out to be quite interesting.

After work I went home to quickly change and make the drive to Stanton... already bad luck strikes... the jeans I wanted to wear still had the ink tag on them from the store... so I had to wear a different pair... left the house in the pouring rain just to forget the directions and have to turn around and go back to get them... plus I had to get gas... then I miss my exit and have to cross the median to make my turn... as if things couldn't get any worse... within five minutes of my arrival a West Texas sandstorm hits... and then came heavy, heavy rain... so it basically rained mud. The winds were so strong a tent was ripped from the ground. Needless to say I was covered from head to toe in dirt, followed by rain... creating a muddy paste all over my body. I was not looking too hot anymore.

I must admit I was a trooper... I never complianed once... and truth be told I had a great time, I didn't have anything to complain about. A little bit of rain never hurt anybody. And at least I was not stuck at home bored and alone.

The rest of the evening was rather mellow. We went to friend's house and just hung out. I borrowed a dry shirt and pj bottoms from the host's wife, and felt 100 times better. But only in Texas would you go to a skeet shoot, then be hit by a dust storm, followed by heavy rain... And this Texas girl survived.

I am Living Single in Texas...

Defining who I am…

Is there a way to define a person? Mounds of research have been conducted in order to pinpoint personality types. Type in personality types in a Google search and you will find over 32 million sites related to the subject. 32 MILLION! How much research should really be conducted to figure out one’s personality? Are you type A or B? What is type A and what is type B? Are you melancholy or aggressive? Are you controlling? Are you quite and shy or outgoing and loud? True people might have common “personality traits” but we are all unique in our own ways… no two people are exactly alike.

I don’t need to take a personality test to know who I am, I know who I am.

My passions in life define who I am. Family, friends, church, writing, dancing, softball, golf, graphic design, video production, music, science, travel, food, cooking, teaching, working, politics, and the list keeps growing everyday. Everyday I learn something new about myself. Everyday I try to better myself. Everyday I redefine myself.

When most people get to know me their first observation is “well most girls would like ___”. My response “I am not like most girls”. Why do we have to be “like one another”? Why do we try to define a “normal”? I am “not like most girls” because I don’t want to be normal. I will never follow the norm. Normal is boring. I will never try to be someone I'm not.

So who am I… loving, kind, caring, generous, selfless, motivated, competitive, strong willed, strong hearted, tough, aggressive, shy, quite, intelligent, daring, honest, stubborn, and friendly. I will never settle for second best. I give 100% of my heart, mind, body, and soul to my family and friends. I’m not fake but real. So who am I… my mother’s daughter, my father’s little girl, my sister’s best friend… I am me. I am who I want to be.

It does not take rocket science or years of research to figure out your “personality type”. Don’t be afraid to define yourself… YOU know YOU better than anyone else.

I am Living Single in Texas…

Bad day...

We all have bad days. Sometimes it is limited to our hair or clothing or maybe you didn't have enough hot water to finish your shower. Things happen and life goes on. But doesn't it seem like if one thing goes wrong the rest of the day just turns out to be bad, hence the phrase "bad day" not bad incident. I am having a bad day.

Last night I had a softball game, as I usually do on Tuesday evenings. We won, and I played alright, so overall it was a good experience. However, I was quite tired after the game. I must admit I have not been sleeping much lately... a new boyfriend will do that to a girl. So last night I didn't go out for $1 beer, I didn't go bowling with my friends, and I didn't even go see my boyfriend... instead I took a tylenol pm at about 10:30 and was crashed out by 11. My goal, get some rest so I can have a constructive and wonderful day. But my day has not worked out as I so thoughtfully planned.

My routine... alarm goes off at 6:30... in the shower by 6:45... eat some toast... check my email... turn on my itunes... get ready for work... out the door by 7:50... work by 8... I however was not so lucky today...

First of all I was leaving the house at 8 instead of pulling into work by 8... I just couldn't get motivated. I pull out of the drive, make it a couple of blocks, and then realize I have a flat. Drive back to my house... change into some sweats... and proceed to put the spare tire on.

I would have been successful at this task... I have changed a tire before, I am not afraid of it... however the lugnuts were on so tight I could not even budge them... so my step dad to the rescue... We get the spare on, just to find out it is flat as well... very slowly we make our way to T&C to air up the tire... made it safely there and then to discount tire...

Ouch!!! Tires are expensive, and I wasn't planning on a expense like that... but I needed tires badly (this flat couldn't be fixed)... From discount tire I proceed back to my house, change back into my work clothes, and head to work. I missed the entire morning.

"Momma says we all have days like this... days like this my Momma says..." Yes we do all have days like this, but I am not going to let it get me down. I will "Keep on keepin on". I have a feeling my day will be getting better, for tonight I hope to see my new boyfriend.

I am Living Single in Texas...

Oxymorons…

Cruel Kindness… Bitter Sweet… Friendly Argument… Good Loser… Hate to Love… Mean Smile… Saying Nothing… Tough Love… True Lies… Troubled Paradise… Deafening Silence… Eyes Wide Shut… Fatal Attraction…

Oxymorons… The English language is full of oxymorons… An oxymoron is a figure of speech that combines two normally contradictory terms. Oxymoron is a Greek term derived from oxy (sharp) and moros (dull), which technically also make the word itself an oxymoron.

It is kind of odd to use two contradictory words to form an idea or thought. Think about “Hate to Love”… What does that mean? Two very strong words put together to form a new thought… Does that mean you Hate Love? Or does it mean you Hate being Love? Or can an emotion such as Love be so strong that you Hate Love? You Hate what Love does to you? There are so many ways to approach it, but what does it really mean?

You might ask why I am asking these questions... it all started with the idea that you “Fall in Love”. I started picking at this phrase, thinking about it, and trying to decide why “falling in love” is good when the premise of the word fall is negative.

Fall… to drop oneself to a lower position… to become lower in degree or level… to drop down wounded or dead… to leave an erect position suddenly and involuntarily.. These are just some meanings to the word fall. Lower, drop, wounded, leave; most of these words have a negative connotation. If one falls, you assume they are hurt… “I fell” in response “Are you ok?”

So if you “fall in love” is it assumed you are or will be hurt?

I am Living Single in Texas…

Will I ever learn...

I have this problem of "biting off more than I can chew". I have always done this. In high school I took honors and advance classes, along with college courses, plus softball. I had more than 20 hours of college credit when I graduated but it was tough stuff. On top of that I was on the honors graduation plan so I had to take a zero every year to fit everything in. And God forbid I get a B in any class. I received one B the entire time I was high school, and that was 9th grade geometry, it broke my heart.

Then I started college. I took 18 hours every semester, plus 12 hours every summer, and worked more than 35 hours per week. And again God forbid I get a B. I received one B in undergraduate school and that was in Nazi Germany History, and the teacher might as well have been a Nazi. Needless to say I survived and graduated in 2 1/2 years Summa Cum Laude.

I took one semester off, all of which I worked 40 plus hour weeks, and then moved to Connecticut to go to graduate school. I worked full time, and drove an hour to school three times a week, carrying a 12 hour load. And again God forbid I get a B. And guess what this time all A's.

Moved back to Texas in 2004 and started working once again for Media Creations plus I started teaching full time. Between Media Creations and UTPB I was working at least 60 hours per week. And it has been that way ever since.

Now that I am working for the City I am no longer teaching, however I have three Web sites on the side I am currently working on, plus golf on Mondays, and softball on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I just do not know how to stop it. If I am not going 90 to nothing, I think I might go crazy. Or am I already crazy? Hard to say...

I am Living Single in Texas...

Hit me with your heart...

Music is an incredible, insightful, and emotional medium. Music has a way of touching people in many different ways.

Music can heal your broken heart... it can break your heart... Music soothes your soul... it enrages your soul... Music can turn someone on... or it can turn you off...

Anger. Love. Sex. Fun. Drinking. Drugs. Mexico. Stars. Moon. Rain. Sunshine. Crazy. Night. Dark. Kiss. Skin. Touch. Sugar. Angels. Pictures. Time. The Future. The Past. Together. Marriage. Babies. Divorce. and the list goes on and on.

I love music. I currently have 3278 songs on my iTunes. I LOVE Music. All kinds of music really. I grew up listening to oldies on family vacations. Everything from the Temptations to the Rolling Stones to the Beatles. And I knew them all, every word. My sister and I would sing and dance in the back seat. My Mom would just watch us and smile. And my Dad would lightly tap his finger on the steering wheel.

The 80s. Love em'. Although I was born in 82 I still have an appreciation for the 80s. From Billy Joel and Elton John to Foreigner to the Bangles.

Of course I grew up in the 90s. And I jammed out to everything. But this is when I also developed a passion for country. My Dad would always play some country on vacations but he liked to rock out better. The number one spot on my radio station was and still is country. My favorites include George Strait, Gary Stewart, Garth Brooks, Johnny Cash, Hank Williams, Kenny Chesney, Lee Ann Womack, and Martina McBride. And that is just a few. I love country music. Something about it seems so truthful and real. It simple and it is about life.

With the onset of the new century and new generation entering college a new genre of country music emerged. It emerged from the old outlaw country of Willie Nelson and Hank Williams Jr. Texas country is about drinking, drugs, sex, and having a damn good time while you're young. And it has spread across colleges in Texas like wild fire. One of the more famous singer/song writers is Pat Green. He started singing with Cory Morrow in Lubbock, Texas at Texas Tech University. He music is now across the nation. Other singer/song writers include, Aaron Watson, Blue Edmondson, Bonnie Bishop, Charlie Robinson, Cooder Graw, Django Walker, Doug Moreland, Honeybrown, Jack Ingram, Kevin Fowler, Randy Rogers Band and Mark David Manders. And that is just the tip of the iceberg.

Currently my favorite band is the Randy Rogers Band. Their sound plus their lyrics move me in ways I didn't think was possible. The first song I fell in love with was Lost and Found. A song about losing love, ah, so good. Then came a rendition of Empty Glass by Gary Stewart: awesome. Tonight's Not the Night, is a fun song about going with the urge to just stay, to take a chance, and have fun. And if these hits were not enough they wrote Kiss Me in the Dark.... I never knew a song could turn me on like this song does.... ahhhhh.... with that said...

I am Living Single in Texas...

I just can’t stop smiling…

I had quite an experience last night, and most women in my position would have stayed in bed and called in sick, but I am actually in a wonderful mood, and I just can’t stop smiling.

First let me give you some details about my wonderful friends. Jen... is so funny. She always knows how to make me laugh. She is a co-worker, my golf partner, and a shoulder when I need one. Boo... is hot. Boo is the tall, hot, blonde chick. She can turn heads. For the part her world evovles around Dylan, her cutie pie son. She knows how to party but only when she is not with Dylan.

Last night Dylan was at grandma's house, in fact he will be there for the rest of week, so Boo wanted to go out. And we did, I wasn't complaining. So it was Boo, Jen, Ton Loc (Jen's husband), Steph Stuff (Boo's sister), -W (my hot date), and me. We started at a Mexican food joint and worked our way to The Ranch ($1 Beer, we have already dicussed this).

I without thinking give my keys to Boo to put in her purse. Boo left with my keys. Boo tunred off her phone when she got home and had passed out so she didn't answer the door. I couldn't get in my car or my house. Needless to say I had no problem finding a place to crash (still smiling), however I was uncertain how I would make it to work, or even what I would wear to work. Jen, being the awesome friend that she is, loaned me a shirt and a pair of shoes, I pulled my hair back, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and now I am sitting at work, hung over, and I really need a shower.

There was a time, probably a few years back, I would have called in sick. But you know what the sun is shinning, life goes on, and it really isn't all that bad. I am going home at lunch to shower so my day is just going to keep getting better. I had so much fun last night!!!

I am Living Single in Texas...

One crazy week...

Talk about over booking! This week is going to be crazy! When I say over booking, I am not talking about dates. I haven't over booked anyone in my "date book", but I have over booked my week with activities.

Monday: Work... busy day as usual tons to do, not enough hours in the day. Golf... tonight is golf night so right after work 9 holes. My sister's house... then off to my sister's house to pick up some stuff. YPM Web site... gotta work on the YPM Web site for a few hours every day this week.

Tuesday: Work... busy day as usual tons to do, not enough hours in the day. YPM... YPM meeting at 6:00 PM, will be a long meeting, with lots to accomplish. Softball... 9:30 game, calls for a late night.

Wednesday: Work... busy day as usual tons to do, not enough hours in the day. Web site Meeting... another Web site I am working on for North A. Church... singing night, can't miss that. YPM Web site... gotta work on the YPM Web site for a few hours every day this week.

Thursday: Work... busy day as usual tons to do, not enough hours in the day. YPM Social... our first social event from 7-9 PM. YPM Web site... gotta work on the YPM Web site for a few hours every day this week.

Friday: Sigh, I am trying to take off from work because my father is coming into town, and he will be here by NOON! And then of course... YPM Web site... gotta work on the YPM Web site for a few hours every day this week.

Saturday: Working on the house with Dad... Mak's Birthday Party... ETC, ETC, ETC!!!

What a week. SIGH...

Back to my "date book". I don't plan on over booking my "date book" any time soon... I have met someone, and for now he is the only one I plan on "dating"...

I am Living Single in Texas...

Best friends...

My best friend came into town on Wednesday. It wasn't until I saw her that I realized how much I missed her. She is the one person who I can tell anything to... she is the one person who I hope will always be in my life... she is my best friend.

It's funny when you are younger, say elementary school, you tend to have a new "best friend" every week or so. This was not the case for me and Christa. I met Christa on the school bus when I was in the third grade. I had just moved from Odessa to Midland. I had moved from the city to the country. I knew no one, expect of course my sister. And not much has changed I was quite and shy then, just like I am quite and shy now... well that is until you get to know me. My sister however was very outgoing, she could make friends with anyone, and she did. My sister automatically made friends with two of the girls on our street, who just so happened to be the same age as her. One of the girls my sister made friends with was Christa's older sister. This is how we met. I was sitting on the bus, by myself of course, when Christa sat down beside me and said "my sister told me to come talk to you and be your friend". We have been friends ever since.

Christa and I compliment each other well. She is outgoing, loud, and talkative... I am quite, shy, and reserved... but you get the two of us together and it just works. Sure we have had our ups and downs. There was a period of time Freshman/Sophomore year that we stopped talking because of a stupid guy. We realized before too long, guys will come and go, but our friendship is forever. Over the past five years or so we have both moved to different states, went to different schools, and made different friends... but we have always remained best friends. And over the past six months it was Christa who was there for me when I needed her most.

We are closer than we have been in a long time, and unfortunately she is living in a different town once again... however it is much closer than Indiana, at least it is in the state of Texas. With that said, I will stress again the importance of girl friends... I hope everyone can find a friend like mine.

It has been about 16 years since that day on the bus... the day on the bus when I was scared and knew no one... that day on the bus when Christa became my friend... 16 years and I pray for another 16 years plus more... I love you Christa...

I am Living Single in Texas...

Independence Day... being independent???

Happy July 4th. Another year of independence. A year for embracing my independence... Freedom, autonomy, liberty, sovereignty... the state of being free from the control or power of another.

Wars and bloodshed flood our history books. Wars and bloodshed for freedom. Slavery is a cruel and horrible crime. It is wrong. No matter what the circumstances. Owning the life of another; it just makes me cringe. So why is it when it comes to relationships some do not see that they are slaves???

Independence is a good thing. Don't be dependent on someone. Be able to live your life for you and no one else. After all it is your life. Although it is not January 1st, how about changing your life now. This July 4th if you are in a crummy relationship, if you are in a controlling relationship, an abusive relationship, GET OUT!!! Believe me it is not worth it. Live single, it is not all that bad. Embrace it, love it.

I have been writing about my relationships, the good and the bad, and I have had more people come to me for advise concerning their relationships. And all I can really say, you need to be happy. For me I am happy. Yes I am lonely, but I am happy. Lonely is not as bad as it seems, its relative. Fill your life with people and activities. Make the most out of what you have been given.

Freedom is great and scary all at the same time... the thing to remember is when you are in a healthy relationship you still have your freedom, don't let anyone ever take that away from you. Celebrate July 4th... be independent this year.

I am Living Single in Texas...

Having a good time...

Somethings never change. Are there any Bill Cosby fans out there. I know I am. And his best show ever was "Bill Cosby Himself". He pinpoints life exactly, and when I woke up this morning for the second time I thought of his "And That's Called Having a Good Time" skit.

Bill Cosby's definition of having a good time: "Saying thank you to the toilet bowl".

It's the weekend, you have worked hard all week, you deserve to have a good time. So you go out to have a good time. Take me for example, I was invited to a party last night. It is Saturday night, why not drink a little, converse, and have fun. And I did all three, I just should have carried on more conversations and drank less. It just hits you, you think you are fine. No those four beers, two glasses of wine, and two shots aren't going to effect me, I will be fine. WRONG. Then you are telling your date to pull the truck over cause you (I) cannot handle that much liquor. (Sound familiar to anyone up north after leaving Downtown New London) If my ride remembers correctly I swore off drinking that night, and I did good for like three months.

So now that my head hurts and I missed Sunday School so I feel guilty, life will go on and I will probably have another drink tomorrow night... After all I still have to celebrate July 4th.

I am Living Single in Texas...