Getting some Perspective...

It is so easy to be selfish in life. What do I want to eat? What do I want to wear? Where do I want to go? What do I want to buy? What do I want?!? It is all about the "I" and that so misses the point. It is not "I" who raised me... it is not "I" who brought me into this world... and it is not "I" who will love me unconditionally no matter what I do or don't do... so why do "I" have to be so selfish.

For those of you who didn't know I wanted to move to New York City. After much analysis and reasoning I have changed my mind. Not because I don't want to... because believe me I want to. I want to be in the big City that never sleeps... have an amazing life... with great food, exciting people and a unique culture... but the truth I would just be living for me... and a life like that is very sad. I changed my mind about moving to NYC not because I didn't want to go, but because I changed my perspective on what life is truly all about... love.

About a month ago my Dad had to go to the doctor. He was having a numbing type sensation in his hand. And of course panic was the first reaction. For most who have a numbing sensation in their hands it is the signs of a stroke or some type of blockage. Of course this would not come as a major shock because my dad has been drinking and smoking since he was a teenager not to mention he has always eaten whatever he wanted. Plus heart disease, diabetes, and high blood pressure run in my dad’s side of the family. Not to mention both of my grandparents died at a very young age. It just becomes very real when you start to think about it. My dad could either get extremely sick or just die any day now. And when he started having the numbing in his hand I immediately thought the worse.

Thankfully it was nothing life threatening. It turns out he has sever carpal tunnel syndrome in both hands... and surgery is the only fix, which is still scary but not as bad as my mind was thinking. But it did wake something up inside of me... my family is so important to me and I take them for granted. I have a wonderful mother who is constantly helping me and making me a better person... my dad who has become a better man... my sister who I am closer to now than I ever been... not to mention to of the most amazing nieces in the world... and I even have the utmost respect and regard for my brother-in-law and step parents. I have a ton of love in my life and that should count for something.

I can still live a wonderful life and be close to my family too. More than likely I will move next summer but it will be in Texas and not on the other side of the country. But I finally have some perspective. Life is too short to be selfish and selfish people end up alone... and I don't believe that to be my destiny.

I am Living Single in Texas.