To converse...
A conversation is communication by two or more people, often on a particular topic. Conversations are the ideal form of communication in some respects, since they allow people with different views of a topic to LEARN from each other.
But how can I LEARN if the person I want to converse with refuses to converse? Women often complain about men, and their inability to communicate. Women want to talk... men do not. So in most cases... women talk... and men do not... in fact they do not only not talk... but they don't listen either. And in order to converse one must talk and listen.... which men do neither.
So, with that said, I myself do not find the urge or need to talk about my feelings nearly as much as I use to, with men that is. In past relationships, that is all I did. Telling men what I need, what I don't need, what I want, and what I don't want. But in my experience I found this to be a waste of time, so I stopped. Instead of talking to my man, I now talk to my friends.... and they talk to me. There is only one down fall to this... my friends know exactly what I need and want... my boyfriend does not.
Now I am not shrink and I will never be a shrink... I have too many problems to try and fix other people's problems, but I am pretty sure if my boyfriend does not know what I want or how I feel, that is not such a good thing. Because sooner or later my needs, wants, and feelings will erupt... erupt being the key word here.
Sure most of my needs, wants, and feelings come and go and change and never really stay the same... so talking to my friends about these needs, wants, and feeling satisfies the need to expresses them. But some of my needs, wants, and feelings will NEVER change. So I feel it necessary when one of these never changing issues arises, I need to inform my boyfriend about them. One problem... when I tried this "he" did not want to "talk" about it.
Do you know how super frustrating that is?!? I need to talk... I want to talk... I need and want to talk to "him"... but I cannot. So I am at a lose, on what to do. I truly believe I did the right thing. I stood by my conviction on how I feel about a certain topic, and because he choose to ignore my feelings, I choose to not see him, until the certain topic is no longer in his system. I will not name the certain topic.
However I am a very open minded and strong willed individual, and it is important for me to stand by my decisions on how I choose to live my life. And if any man ever mocks, or makes fun, or even gets angry at my convictions and my decisions then he does not respect or cherish me... in which I could never respect him either. The problem is I don't know how he feels about my convictions and decisions, because he refuses to TALK!!!
I am Living Single in Texas.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Friday, February 02, 2007
Where did January go? … I hate February.
February is such an odd month. It doesn’t even have a full thirty days. And I don’t know if it is because of the cold wet weather… or just the simple fact that February is a bad month… but I have the worst luck in February.
First of all I almost always misspell February. I tend to spell it as Febuary leaving out the ‘r’. I have to sound out the word when I write it. And of course it never fails I usually misspell it from time.
Then there is the fact that Valentine’s Day is in February. Now I know what you are thinking. A woman that doesn’t like Valentine’s Day, that is just crazy, but no it really isn’t. I truly believe the card and candy companies invented Valentine’s Day in order to make more money.
I know what you are thinking. OK, but why do you hate the month with such a passion, and I’ll tell you why. February is really a wretched horrible month for me, my life usually falls apart during the month of February, and it has been doing this since at least February 2001.
February 2001… my ex stole my dog. Yes this is a true story. My ex and I had broken up a couple of months before and during our relationship he bought me dog. This dog went everywhere with me, she even slept with me every night. Well one day in February my ex came out to the house and when I answered the door my dog of course went running out side and he snatched her up and took off with her. I cried for an entire month. March was a good month though he gave her back.
February 2002… I was diagnosed with pre-cancerous cervical cells and would need surgery. Not only was the surgery uncomfortable and horrible… the aftermath last a little over one month... through the entire month of February. The good news, the surgery worked.
February 2003… I was in limbo. I had finished school in December and broken up with yet another guy… and now I didn’t where I wanted to go or what I wanted do, I was just in this “there” state. Can’t remember specifically anything traumatic happening… but it was another February so it couldn’t have been that great.
February 2004… I was living in Connecticut, trying to find myself so I had been dating a guy for almost two months. Well of course it is February and I decide to let my guard down and I sleep with him. The next day he tells me he is in love with someone else and that he wants to try and work it out with her. I then went out drinking, drinking myself into oblivion… and almost had to make a trip to the emergency room. I didn’t have another drink for five months after that.
February 2005… I am back in Texas now… and overall… out of the past five years this is the first time I didn’t have a bad February… maybe it was just the build up for the next February.
February 2006… I find out my boyfriend had been cheating on me… he wants to breakup… and I have live with my mom again. That is the summary… short and sweet… but the long version is my life fell completely apart… I couldn’t eat or sleep… and on top of all my personal drama I lost a man who was like my second father. When I got back from the funeral I found out about my boyfriend had been cheating on me with one of my good friends… I hate February.
February 2007… so far it is not off to a great start. But I don’t want to jinks so I will keep my mouth shut until the end of the month.
I am Living Single in Texas.
February is such an odd month. It doesn’t even have a full thirty days. And I don’t know if it is because of the cold wet weather… or just the simple fact that February is a bad month… but I have the worst luck in February.
First of all I almost always misspell February. I tend to spell it as Febuary leaving out the ‘r’. I have to sound out the word when I write it. And of course it never fails I usually misspell it from time.
Then there is the fact that Valentine’s Day is in February. Now I know what you are thinking. A woman that doesn’t like Valentine’s Day, that is just crazy, but no it really isn’t. I truly believe the card and candy companies invented Valentine’s Day in order to make more money.
I know what you are thinking. OK, but why do you hate the month with such a passion, and I’ll tell you why. February is really a wretched horrible month for me, my life usually falls apart during the month of February, and it has been doing this since at least February 2001.
February 2001… my ex stole my dog. Yes this is a true story. My ex and I had broken up a couple of months before and during our relationship he bought me dog. This dog went everywhere with me, she even slept with me every night. Well one day in February my ex came out to the house and when I answered the door my dog of course went running out side and he snatched her up and took off with her. I cried for an entire month. March was a good month though he gave her back.
February 2002… I was diagnosed with pre-cancerous cervical cells and would need surgery. Not only was the surgery uncomfortable and horrible… the aftermath last a little over one month... through the entire month of February. The good news, the surgery worked.
February 2003… I was in limbo. I had finished school in December and broken up with yet another guy… and now I didn’t where I wanted to go or what I wanted do, I was just in this “there” state. Can’t remember specifically anything traumatic happening… but it was another February so it couldn’t have been that great.
February 2004… I was living in Connecticut, trying to find myself so I had been dating a guy for almost two months. Well of course it is February and I decide to let my guard down and I sleep with him. The next day he tells me he is in love with someone else and that he wants to try and work it out with her. I then went out drinking, drinking myself into oblivion… and almost had to make a trip to the emergency room. I didn’t have another drink for five months after that.
February 2005… I am back in Texas now… and overall… out of the past five years this is the first time I didn’t have a bad February… maybe it was just the build up for the next February.
February 2006… I find out my boyfriend had been cheating on me… he wants to breakup… and I have live with my mom again. That is the summary… short and sweet… but the long version is my life fell completely apart… I couldn’t eat or sleep… and on top of all my personal drama I lost a man who was like my second father. When I got back from the funeral I found out about my boyfriend had been cheating on me with one of my good friends… I hate February.
February 2007… so far it is not off to a great start. But I don’t want to jinks so I will keep my mouth shut until the end of the month.
I am Living Single in Texas.
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